top of page

Guilt and Anger in my shoulder - an EFT story

I was embarking on a 3 day bike ride with 2 girl friends and I was really excited. It was a track I had ridden before on several occasions, in various combinations and with various people.

It was challenging enough in places and beautiful scenery and I knew I would really enjoy it no matter how often I rode it.

My husband – a keen cyclist took it upon himself to see where we were planning to ride and to check that the sections we were choosing were suitable for the 3 of us and our range of abilities.

Satisfied that we were skipping the gnarliest bits, he noted that there was a tunnel on the last day - one that he and I had ridden through before and a feature of that last section of the trail.

In his kind and caring way, wanting us to be prepared and safe negotiating the tunnel. He found me his very powerful headlamp and explained in detail how it worked, which buttons to press and even asked me where I would like him to put it so that it was accessible to me when we needed it. He put new charged batteries in it and showed me where he had put it in my back pack. I admit that I was only half listening at the time. I had been through the tunnel many times – and I had my phone torch anyway. When I had mentioned this, he said “No” use the headlamp like Ive asked. Its much more powerful for the tunnel.

We had a great trip on the first 2 days and everyone was feeling buoyed by the company and the scenery and the general exhilaration of being out in the fresh air.

We duly got to the tunnel on the last day – knowing this was the home run and a quirky feature of the trail. Having been through it many times I didn’t really give it much attention and set off ahead thinking – its too much work to get the headlight out of my backpack and take my helmet off and then put it away again – when Ive got my phone just here.

I led the way – riding through holding the phone torch toward the ground so that my friend could also see where to go. The third friend had decided to dismount and walk through with her phone torch.

As I got a few metres into the tunnel I realized it was a lot darker than I remembered and the phone torch had less light than I remembered. Trying to keep the handlebars and phone steady as I negotiated the rough tunnel floor one handed was a challenge, but I boxed on. It got darker and darker and still I boxed forward. My friend had dismounted, clearly unable to see and decided to use her own phone to walk though.

And then it happened – I wobbled on the rough ground, my sun glasses fell off and I hit something very rough with my front wheel– then booom in an instant I was on the ground!

I landed on every part of my body it seemed. One hip, my hand, my knee, my other hip and my shoulder. And it really hurt. I fell hard!

I remember thinking – OMG Ive really done it now. Will I be able to get up. Now these thoughts were quite frightening because as a rule, I don’t bruise, I don’t get sick. And if I do, its usually minor and I recover really quickly. This felt really different and for a few minutes I was quite concerned.

Im supposed to be the organizer of this trip, the fit one, the sensible one the guide and here I am hurting on the ground with still a couple of hours of riding left to go. I pulled myself and my dignity together and struggled up in the dark, reassuring everyone I was ok.

But inside I did not feel ok. Every part of my body hurt. I had a hole in the knee of my pants, my palm was grazed and my hips and shoulder really hurt.

I waved off any help, got back on my bike and soldiered on, cursing myself as I rode in silence. At this point I decided to finger tap on the pain – and this allowed me carry on.

For the first time that I can remember, I allowed my friend to rub some deep heat into my shoulder at the next pitstop, which gave some deeper relief and allowed me to finish the ride.

We got home just as the rain came and all went our separate ways vowing to do this again some time soon as it had been such a wonderful experience.

I admitted to my husband in a joking fashion that I had experienced Karma and gave him the opportunity to berate me in a kindly way – it was a story to tell of our time away.

A week went by and I was surprised that my hips but more so my shoulder, deep inside were really sore. I felt my hip hurting when I walked especially on one side and I had limited movement in my shoulder. I was careful not to complain, given that I could expect no sympathy from my foolish actions.

I did try EFT on a daily basis, focusing on the pain I was experiencing and it did give me relief in the moment, but the next day I was right back where I started. Bloody EFT, what a waste of time! (I tapped on that too!)

I continued to be surprised that I was not healing as expected as time went on and started wondering if I would need a shoulder reconstruction as so many of my era friends had had it seems in the last few years – a real run on these.

Then it dawned on me about 3 weeks on, that it was indeed karma that I had tipped off my bike and I had overlooked the obvious. With a client I would have gone deeper than the symptoms.

I happened to be on a 3 hour car drive

So I began:

Even though ….

I tapped on anger at myself for not listening

I tapped on guilt that I had not taken the advice of my husband

I tapped on the anger I felt in my shoulder for being so stupid

I tapped on being lazy for not getting the headlight out

I tapped on forgiveness from my husband for not allowing his kind gesture to be received

I tapped on hip pain reminding me of when I was carrying our disabled child – trepidation, fear of the future

I tapped on my judgement of others that I hold in my sciatic nerve

Within 2 days the pain in my shoulder and hips was completely gone and has never returned!

So many lessons that I am so grateful to have experienced.

Subconscious Emotional patterns and resistance can run deep and my logical mind would never have figured that out. Thank you again EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

By Jenny Malcolm

Mind & Body

Wellbeing Coach

5 views0 comments


bottom of page